50th Anniversary Publication

The 50 years since Relationships Australia began as the Marriage Guidance Council have brought many significant changes. We have seen change in the nature of family relationships, change in the management structures, professional practice and types of programs which Relationships Australia provides, change in the way communities support their members and change in Government social policy. The papers in this publication explore all these areas.

The Nature of Relationships into the Future

• As we approach the new millennium many people are concerned about decreasing marriage rates, increased divorce rates, increased de facto relationships and child-bearing at a later age.
• Looked at over a longer period than the decades since WW11, the '50's and '60's were an aberration. The glamour image of the family in this period has led to some of today's problems, perceptions and expectations.
• Marriage is no longer just about children, stability, or mutual comfort. It is no longer even so much about romantic love. Now it is primarily about the quality of the relationship. For many in the rising generation, marriage is for 'when we are ready'. They want to be emotionally and financially established before they tie any legal knots.
• Families are usually defined by demographic description - who and how many make up the family. More important is to recognise the function of families, the quality of supportive networks, cooperative, positive parenting regardless of whether the family members live in the same household or not.
• A report on our 1998 Relationships Indicators survey makes a valuable contribution to an understanding of current-day pressures on family relationships and also on how people view the future of marriage into the new millennium.

Challenges Families and Practitioners Face in the Future

• How separating parents handle the process of separation will have a major impact on their own and their children's future.
• "No fault" divorce was introduced into Australia in 1975, yet the idea of fault is still very pervasive when it comes to divorce or separation. Retribution may be interpreted as the partner losing the right to continue to be a parent.
• The idea of ownership of children is very deeply embedded in our consciousness (ie, seen during divorce-based battles over 'who will have the children'), this notion is slowly changing driven by changes to the law.
• Far from signalling "it's over", separation and divorce which involve children are just the beginning of different ways of relating.
• We now understand more clearly the damage that can occur to children who have witnessed adult violence, or who have been drawn into the psychological aspects of the conflict.
• Service providers such as Relationships Australia can play an important role in identifying relationships in which domestic violence is occurring - often at an earlier stage than specialist domestic violence service providers.
• Intervening with families where there is violence is about breaking the cycle of violence for future generations. Even in more complex entrenched situations there are still opportunities for prevention.
• Globalisation is a key theme for the future. By understanding issues confronting families in other cultures, we gain more insights into our own ideas about relationships.

Government Policy - The Need for Integrated Family Policy

There are strong and important links between broad social policy and family well-being. Our services can assist families in the way they deal with pressures, but we cannot "counsel away" the contributing social and economic factors.

External factors such as; financial difficulties, raising children and work or study demands, have a major impact on the quality of relationships. We therefore, require social policies that address;

• Economic barriers which inhibit family formation by young adults.
• Financial insecurity and unemployment.
• Working conditions which allow attention to children and family responsibilities.
• The increasing divide between the privileged in full time employment and the unemployed and underemployed.

Policies which are out of touch with the reality of people's lives create unintended problems for individuals and families. Relationships Australia hopes that integrated social policy will be a key objective of the National Families Strategy launched by the Prime Minister on 23 June 1999.

A Selection of Quotes From "Relationships Into The New Millennium"

"There has been change since the 1950s, and the changes are fascinating and important, but we need to avoid creating a nostalgia for an era which was an aberration and could not support its own ideology." Helen Disney

"We believe that there is a new socioeconomic system confronting young people. The expectations of how income is earned, of work conditions, of income support and provision of community support, of relationships and families, have all changed." Helen Disney

"Expecting to take an Australian model of relationship counselling to a rural village in Aceh is a little foolish; looking at developing it for middle-class families in Jakarta, however, has more logic." Peter Mc Donald

"Blood is thicker than water, which means that family ties will always be stronger than the doom-sayers predict." Don Edgar

"What has all this done to the rising generation? It has taught them to keep their options open; the youngest of them are symbolising their postponement of commitment by keeping the laces undone on their Doc Martens!" Hugh Mackay

"Far from signalling "it's over," separation and divorce which involve children are just the beginning of a variety of different ways of relating, all of which have implications for children." Elisabeth Seddon

"To be a child in conflict with adults, or affected by the conflict of adults, is a very frightening experience." Susan Gribben

"The only constant in this discontinuous change is the change itself. To cope, an organisation must adopt a flexible management style; it must have the capacity to redirect energies and intellect toward new and emerging client groups whilst not losing sight of the traditional clients groups; and it must be able to deliver services in more complex community configurations." Meredith Hodgson

"Addressing the role of the father in the life of a baby or toddler is more complicated than just ensuring that the father is available and involved." Kerrie James

"The mediator is not an external observer of the change process of the clients but an integral part of the process. As such, use of self is critical to effective service delivery." Mieke Brandon

"Wise and challenging words for straight counsellors working with same-sex couples are, "First you must forget we are gay. Second, you must never forget that we are gay." Mieke Brandon

"If we are committed to promoting human welfare, we have a positive duty to end racism, sexism and heterosexism. The straight therapist's usual commitment to caring must include an unusual commitment to justice for sexual minorities if we are to be effective with gay and lesbian clients living in an unjust world." Sherry Wright

Acknowledgements for "Relationships Into The New Millennium"

We are delighted to be able to reproduce some key addresses delivered at various Relationships Australia events by leading thinkers in the field. We also include a number of papers by Relationships Australia's National and State and Territory Executive Directors and staff. Many of these papers have been presented at a range of national conferences - a further demonstration of the scope of Relationships Australia's influence. We greatly appreciate these authors' willingness to contribute their work for publication in this collection of papers. The papers cover topics which span many important facets of Relationships Australia's interest and expertise. The views expressed in the papers, however, are those of the individual authors.

Note: copies of this publication are no longer available to order.  Please contact Relationships Australia (email: National Office) with any enquiries about this publication.