What does a good relationship need?

It will vary from one person to another, but most people would probably agree that respect, companionship, mutual emotional support, sexual expression, economic security and, often, childrearing, are all important parts of an adult relationship.

Ask your partner to write down the five qualities/needs that are most important for them in a relationship.  Have a look at the list and see which of the needs you can do something about, and which you need to negotiate with your partner.

Do the same yourself. Then talk about each other's relationship needs.  It is essential for each partner to try to understand and respect the other person's needs.

We don't all want the same things out of life.  You and your partner could each make a list of what is most important in life.  Talk to each other about what is on your list. Remember, most people will want different things.

Do you make time to talk about how your relationship is going?

• How well do you think your partner understands you - how you think, how you feel, what's important to you?  Do you tell him/her?
• How well can the two of you discuss a difficult issue?
• How often do you argue?  If you have many arguments that you don't resolve, there may be communication problems.  Lots of arguments over trivial issues may be a sign of a power struggle.  If you never have any arguments, is it because you are avoiding important issues out of a fear of arguments?
• What interests do you have in common?  What do you do together for fun and relaxation?  How often do you do something enjoyable as a couple?
• How do you feel about your sexual relationship?  Does sex usually leave you both feeling satisfied and good?  Are you having any sexual problems?