Is some conflict in a relationship inevitable?

Marriage and "living together" involves two people being together in a relationship for up to seven days a week, twenty four hours a day, year in, year out. There is a great deal of physical closeness as they eat, sleep and share the same house together.

To make things more complex, they care for each other and have high expectations of how they wish to be treated by each other. Being human, they may occasionally let each other down.

Conflict, most commonly expressed as anger, can indicate that all is not well for a couple, and that some change is needed to keep their relationship healthy.

If conflict has a purpose, then instead of asking "how can we avoid conflict?" we should ask "how can we manage not to hurt each other or our relationship when we have a row?" and "how can we learn from the conflict?".

Avoiding conflict could mean avoiding important issues which would be better faced and sorted out.

Conflict is a symptom. Treating the symptom by patching things up without finding out what caused the conflict is unwise.