My ex-partner is often angry and aggressive towards me. What can I do?

This can be a very distressing situation for you (and your children, if you have any). There are various forms of assistance that Relationships Australia can offer you and your former partner to help you deal effectively with the problem. These services include: anger management courses, counselling and family dispute resolution.

Anger Management Courses

Relationships Australia runs a variety of Relationship Skills courses, and some of these deal with anger management. Each state or territory has compiled its own set of courses and seminars which are responsive to the needs of the community.

People participate in relationship courses and seminars to learn relationship skills, get support and to explore similar relationship experiences with others; get advice from others about what works for them in their relationship; and because they care about their relationships.

All courses are facilitated by professional group leaders who are experienced and skilled to run the courses.

To find out which courses are offered in your state or territory, click on the links below:

Counselling

Counselling programs can help people who are separating and/or getting divorced, deal with their grief and anger and to let go, so that they can move on with a new sense of purpose and optimism. This includes looking at:

• how relationships change
• how to bear with and manage the grief
• what is the real value of anger
• what real acceptance is and how it impacts our lives
  
• discovering a pathway for your separation
• learning to be "single"
• being able to face moving on to a new and sustaining relationship.

Counselling and working through the problems of separation with someone who has no involvement or investment in the outcome can help people get through this difficult time.

Family Dispute Resolution

Family Dispute Resolution offers separated couples who are in conflict a safe and supportive environment, facilitated by an impartial third party, to discuss practical matters concerning you and your ex-partner and to reach a satisfactory resolution.

The family dispute resolution process involves:

• the parties listening to each other's point of view without interruption
• identifying issues that need to be resolved
• sharing of relevant information
• exploring ideas and options
• testing possible solutions
• decisions and agreements put in writing.

Family Dispute Resolution is a process facilitated by an independent third party, and decisions made are not legally binding. Everyone gets the opportunity to express his or her own point of view and is free to talk about issues of concern, with everyone present.

Participants must be willing to listen to the other party and be genuinely willing to negotiate and commit to reaching a solution and considering a compromise. Participants must be prepared to follow the process.

Using family dispute resolution to resolve a dispute:

• saves money and delays, because family dispute resolution is cheaper and quicker than the Court process
• promotes co-operation and improves communication that can enhance an ongoing relationship which, in turn, assists parenting and other relationships
• provides a structure in which future disputes can be resolved more readily
• controls the decision-making process; there are no imposed decisions
• is generally less stressful or traumatic than court proceedings
• leads to less breaching of agreements, as parties have made the agreements themselves.
  

With the family law reforms passed in 2006, family dispute resolution is now compulsory in most cases and mediation must be attempted before a party can file an application for a parenting order in the courts (The exception to this is for cases involving family violence or child abuse).

Contact Us

If you would like to discuss your particular circumstances further, to work out if counselling or family dispute resolution would be helpful to you, please contact your nearest office of Relationships Australia:

Canberra and Region | New South Wales | Northern Territory | Queensland

South Australia | Tasmania | Victoria | Western Australia